“The children struggled within her, and she said: ‘Why am I like this?’ So, she went to inquire of the Divine. Hashem said to her, “Two nations are within your womb… and the elder shall serve the younger…” -Bereisheet 25:22-23 Here in Tucson, the Catalina mountains rise majestically in the north of the city. When we first moved here, I would look up and think, “I wonder if those mountains will ever seem normal and unimpressive?” As lovers of travel know, when you visit a new place where you have no history or baggage, there’s a brightness to everything- even dirty things are bright, vivid, and rich. But after you’ve been somewhere a while, the nervous system tends to clump everything together. You look at the tree you’ve seen a million times in your backyard, and instead of seeing the miracle of the tree, you see your laundry, the bills, the broken sink, the broken relationships. All your past experiences of a place seems to soak into every particular piece of that place. You become conditioned. Conditioning is not in itself a bad thing; it’s how we learn. But it’s vital to remember that there is always an aspect of your experience that is unconditioned. You can see and feel that unconditioned aliveness in children- their wonder, their innocent excitement about things. And of course, along with that exquisitely innocent and unconditioned consciousness comes... stupidity! That’s why we, the old and the conditioned, need to protect them from themselves. The older must serve the younger. “V’rav ya’avod tza’ir- And the older shall serve the younger...” And that’s as it should be- the experience of the old and the conditioned must preserve and protect the fragile, the bright, the unconditioned. But this truth applies not only in the external realm of protecting children, but also in the inner realms of consciousness. For there is a level within your own being that is still completely unconditioned. Like the child, it is bright, alive, and curious. You may think, “But I am old- my conditioning is too heavy, my trauma is too great, my life has been too difficult, or too easy, or whatever… how can I get rid of all the oldness to discover my inner youthfulness? How can I reach the unconditioned?” The Good News is: You don’t have to “reach” it, and you don’t have to get rid of your conditioning. That which sees all your conditioning, is itself Unconditioned. Instead of saying, “I am old”- instead of saying, “my conditioning”- simply notice the feeling of oldness. Notice the impulse to think or judge things in a certain way. Notice the feeling that arises when you see the tree in your backyard. The seeing itself- That is the Unconditioned. If you practice staying in the seeing, in the noticing, without getting absorbed into the reaction, you will also begin to notice- there is an inner vastness that is untouched by the old thoughts and old feelings. That vastness is your Presence, your Awareness. You don’t need to find it, you are it- but you need to be with all that conditioning instead of being the conditioning. Then, you will see the mountain anew, every day. There is a story that the disciples of Rabbi Elimelekh came to him and asked: “In the Torah we read that Pharaoh said to Moses and Aaron, ‘Show a wonder to you.’ How are we to understand this? He should have said, ‘Show a wonder to me.’” Rabbi Elimelekh explained: “Magicians know what they want to accomplish and how to accomplish it. It is not a wonder for them, but only for their beholders. But for those who are merely a vessel for the miracle that God accomplishes through them, their own wonder arises from their deeds and overwhelms them. And that’s what Pharaoh meant: ‘Don’t show me your conditioned expertise! Show me the wonder that arises out of your Unconditioned innocence…’ As we enter this Shabbat Toldot, The Sabbath of Generations, may we open and see the miraculous eons of conditioning that are creating our experience right now. May we know that the seeing and the opening is Itself Unconditioned- Hadeish yameinu kikedem- may our days be fresh and new as they were at the beginning, before the story began. And as we enter the month of Kislev and of Hanukah, the Holiday of Dedication, may we dedicate ourselves ever more deeply to a path of ever increasing Light of Presence. Good Shabbos, Hodesh Tov! b yosef For more on Toldot, Click Here
2 Comments
Once I saw a video of some children being shown an old telephone from the 1970s, complete with a rotary dial. “What is it?” they wondered. When they were told it was a phone and how it worked, how you dial numbers by pushing the wheel around, they said, “Wait, you mean all this phone does is call people?” For many of is, it’s hard to imagine a time when our calendar, internet, email and a million other functions weren’t instantly available on our phones. What a miracle! But recently I noticed that whenever I take out my phone, there’s a slight pain in my stomach, because I don’t want all those functions to distract me from the reason I took out the phone in the first place. Have you set out to do something, gotten distracted, and completely forgotten what it was you had intended to do? In the Haftorah for this week’s reading, King David is old and lying on his deathbed. Meanwhile, his son Adonijah has taken power against King David’s will, throwing a big party and inviting all his supporters, while excluding those close to David. The prophet Nathan and King David’s wife Bathsheba enter King David’s bed chamber and inform him about what’s going on. The king is roused and swears that his son Solomon must succeed him. Every intention that arises within the mind and heart arises within a particular kind of situation. As time goes on, situations change; in fact, “time” and “change” are not two separate things. Like King David’s desire for Solomon to succeed his kingship, the moments of our original intentions can become old and dim, while new moments and new desires arise. Like the thousands of apps, reminders, alerts, and new emails popping up, we sometimes find ourselves thinking: “Wait, what was I doing?” But let’s stand back for a moment, back from all the different intentions and priorities of life. Before you had relationships, before you had values, before you had goals- can you go back before any of that and ask, “What was I doing? Why did I come into this life in the first place?” Every intention, whether positive or negative, has its root in some thought or feeling- the desire for happiness, the desire to help the world, the desire to create or to destroy. Consciousness is like the smartphone- its functions are infinite, and the mind is infinitely complex! But is there something simple, something far more deep than any thought or feeling? Before you wanted anything, before you had an opinion, there was consciousness- this miracle of perception somehow awakened within your body-mind and began meeting the world as it appeared. The world- sometimes nurturing, sometimes beautiful, sometimes loving, sometimes painful, sometimes horrific. But whatever the form the world happens to takes in any given moment, behind it all is this simple awareness: the awakening of Reality to Itself. And this awakening is happening, right now, as the Presence that you are. Can you remember why you came into existence? On this deepest level, awareness comes into existence simply to be aware. And behind all the complexity of life is this simple truth- you are aware- which is to say, you are awareness. Know yourself as this Presence- behind your thinking, behind your words, behind your actions- and you become like the air we breathe: ever-present, completely surrounding us from without and nourishing us from within, yet essentially separate from all the drama of our existence- intimate and transcendent in one. But to do this you have to get back to basics. Like the rotary phone that only did one thing, you have to find the one thing within yourself behind all the many things. A great way to start is, become aware of the air! Become aware of the ever-present nourishment which is your own constant breath, and you can begin to notice that your noticing is just like the air. The noticing itself is your ever-present consciousness within which all experience arises. And, paradoxically, it is through the awakening of this transcendence beyond the world that you become a great force of blessing within the world, because it is through the openness of your transcendence that genuine love can flow. Can you remember your original intention- to be awake? King David is the symbol of Moshiakh- the awakening of all humanity out of the dream of separation. This dream is so powerful- it creates all the suffering we inflict upon ourselves and others. His rightful heir is Solomon- the symbol of wisdom. We come into this world to awaken as that wisdom- to embody consciousness in form and thereby heal the world. We humans have become so lost in form, so caught within its web. The rogue son has taken over and usurped the throne. But any moment, and that means this moment, is the potential to rouse David from his slumber and get the world back on track. Awaken! It is told that in the late 1700s, when Reb Shneur Zalman was incarcerated in a Russian prison, a guard noticed the great presence of the rabbi and went to ask him a question: “You are a holy man. There is a question that has been bothering me about the scriptures. When Adam was in the Garden of Eden and he ate from the forbidden fruit, it says that God asked him where he was. How is it possible that God didn’t already know where he was?” Reb Shneur Zalman answered- “It’s like this. At every moment and at every time, God is asking you- where are you? Right now you are twenty-seven years old. Are you fulfilling the purpose of your life?” At this point the guard almost fell over, because the rabbi had mentioned his actual age, and there was no way he could have known. At that moment, a deep knowing awakened within the guard and he devoted himself to love and service. On this Shabbat Hayey Sarah, the Sabbath of Life, may we remember ever more deeply who we are really- the Presence and Life of Reality Itself. May that Presence be free from the dream of all fear and negativity, and may our words and deeds become sources of blessing on this earth, today. Good Shabbos! love, brian yosef A friend of mine once said to me, “I don’t understand this ‘present moment’ stuff. What if the present moment is terrible? Why would I want to ‘be in the moment’ when the moment is so painful and awful?” This week’s reading begins with Abraham sitting in his tent on a scorching hot day. Suddenly, he is visited by a Divine revelation: "Vayeira eilav Hashem b’eilonei Mamrei, v’hu yosheiv petakh ha’ohel k’khom hayom- “The Divine appeared to him (Avraham) in the plains of Mamrei, while he was sitting at the opening of his tent in the heat of the day.” Let’s look at the Hebrew in this opening line carefully. The usual translation says that the Divine appeared to him “in the heat of the day.” But, the Hebrew doesn’t actually say that. “In the heat of the day” would normally be “B’khom hayom.” The Hebrew says- “K’khom hayom”- AS the heat of the day. Read this way, the verse says that the Divine is appearing to him as the discomfort of the heat! Furthermore, the word “Hayom” which means “the day” can also simply mean “today”- that is, this moment. In other words, yes- the present moment sometimes appears as discomfort, as ugliness, as pain. But the crucial thing to remember is: everything that arises in your experience is a gateway to the Divine, if you open to it. As it says, “…v’hu yosheiv petakh ha’ohel- “… and he was sitting at opening of the tent…” The “tent” is your identity- your individual self. The “opening” is the willingness to open to Reality as it presents itself, even when it appears as “heat”- as discomfort. In that willingness, in that openness, is the appearance of the Divine. Why? Because in the open space of simple Presence with what is, there's no big distinction between the “outside” and the “inside”- between the inner world of thought and feeling, on one hand, and the outer world you take in through your senses, on the other. Everything that happens in your experience- outside as well as inside- is part of one experience. And your one experience is nothing but your one consciousness, constantly taking on different forms. When you really see this, when you realize that all of your experiences are always only One Experience, and that your One Experience is ultimately made out you- meaning, made out of your consciousness- there can be a relaxing of resistance, a relaxing of the “me” that’s separate, that’s judges, that wants. After all, why would you resist yourself? That just creates inner tension, unnecessary suffering. Then you can see- there is simply this Reality, everpresent- the Divine appearing as the form of this moment, suffering and ugliness and all. The famous brothers and Hassidic rebbes- Zusya and Elimelech- were the sons of a village innkeeper who was unusually hospitable. One day a band of beggars came to the doorstep of his inn. He and his wife received them warmly, served them food and drink, and prepared them a place to sleep. Seeing that their guests wanted to bathe, they went down to the bathhouse and heated water for them. Among the beggars was a pauper whose entire body was covered with repulsive sores, and none of the other vagrants was willing to help him wash. The innkeeper’s wife had compassion and helped him, whereupon he turned to her and said: “In return for your kindness, let me bestow upon you my blessing- that you bear sons like me.” Dismay came over her- sons like him? But within seconds, this man and all his companions along with their wagon vanished before her very eyes. Years later, when her sons grew up, it then dawned on her- she had been put through a test, in order to bestow upon her the gift of such saintly children. When Reb Shneur Zalman of Liadi once recounted this story, one of his listeners asked him: “Who was that leper?” But the rebbe gave not a word of reply. There are no words to describe this Reality that is appearing, just now. Sometimes ugly, sometimes repulsive, it is the gateway to the sacred- to the most beautiful essence that you are. Even if ugliness arises as your own thoughts, as your own feelings- when you welcome them, the welcoming Presence is Itself beautiful, and in Its Light, everything has a sacred purpose. So on this Shabbat Vayeira, the Sabbath of Appearance, may we embody the supreme art of hospitality- not only external hospitality, but also the inner kind- welcoming the ugliness that arises, until it too vanishes and reveals its secret blessing... Good Shabbisss! love, brian yosef While acknowledging that these Torah of Awakening posts are intended for everyone, regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, I also acknowledge that many folks who read these posts are feeling devastated and even terrified in the wake of the election results. If you are one of those folks, this post is for you. At the same time, this post is also for everyone, as devastation and fear do not belong solely to any particular situation, but are inherent features of the human experience. And so, I write today not to offer any political or historical perspectives (there are plenty of those coming out by the second), but to respond to the question that may arise as you seek to reconcile our current situation with your spiritual path: “How do I deal with this situation from a “spiritual awakening” perspective, from a path of Presence? Should I simply trust the how the universe/God is unfolding? Should I replace the negative story I have about it with a positive one? To respond, I want to first bring to mind the nature of what we’re dealing with. Our political reality is not like a snow storm or a sunrise. It doesn’t simply happen in the world as a natural unfolding of the universe. It is purely, one hundred percent a projection of the human mind- of your mind, of my mind, of all humans who create it by participating in it. “President” is a creation of the mind. “Elections” are creations of the mind. All political views are creations of the mind. They are stories, narratives, fictions. That’s not to say that they don’t have very real and objective consequences, but only to point out that they are completely, one hundred percent externalizations of thought, projections of our “inner worlds.” Which just goes to show you how incredibly powerful our inner worlds are- that so much of our human reality is made up of the externalization of our mental stories. And, while we have no absolute power to control what happens in the external world, there is one power we do have, and that’s the power to choose how we project our inner world- that is, the power to choose the quality of our words and actions. While that might seem like a relatively tiny power, it’s the only power we truly have. And since our whole civilization ultimately rests on the projections of everyone’s inner worlds, your power is real. Every action, every word, every gesture is an act of power- of projecting your inner world onto the outer world. Michelle Obama said, “When they go low, we go high…” And so, the next question then arises- How can you “go high” when you’re filled with so much negative emotion? In other words, how can you choose to project something positive, when your inner world is totally negative? To answer, it’s good to first understand where these emotions come from, and why this situation is so difficult in particular. It’s not like natural disasters such as like earthquakes or floods. That’s because it’s not just the external world that’s being threatened; it’s also your inner world that is threatened. And why is that so devastating? Because our inner worlds of thought and feeling tend to make up our identity; it’s who we feel that we are. When we lose what we value and believe in, our very sense of self is threatened. And the natural reaction to the “self” being threatened is intense grief, fear, anger, nastiness, and for some, even violence. Which brings us to the other name for the self-sense that’s derived from thoughts and feelings: Ego. When you come right down to it, ego is the reason why we have such polarization in our species in the first place. It’s the reason that extremely intelligent people can have such opposing points of view, with almost no willingness to see the view of the other. That’s because the ego-self is derived from your thoughts and feelings; from your point of view. When your point of view is threatened, your ego is threatened. And the ego is like any natural creature- it wants to live, and it will fight for its life. So beyond all politics, beyond all external worldly events that come and go in history, whether positive or negative, whether loving or hateful, is this crucial truth: Humanity cannot be fixed until the problem of ego is fixed. And, the only ego problem you can fix, ultimately, is your own. How do you fix it? First of all, know that there is a vast dimension of your own being that is far beyond ego, that you are infinitely more than ego, even though ego can seem so powerful. That inner vastness is the source of your authenticity, of true creativity, of genuine love, joy, connection and true power. Connect with that, and you take the first step (again and again) to bringing true healing, wisdom and love into the world. Second, know that your inner vastness is not something you have to search or reach for; it’s already present as your own awareness, as the consciousness that is reading these words, in this moment. Which brings us to the third and most important part: You can awaken the vast dimension of your own awareness right now, simply by opening to and embracing everything that arises within your field of experience. You feel fear, anger, or devastation? Those feelings themselves are the doorway beyond ego, if you open to them. By “open to them” I mean: intentionally let them be there. They are painful- let them burn. They are burning away ego, if you don't get taken over by them and instead simply allow them to be. Wholeheartedly abandon the idea that you can control anything, except for your relationship to this moment. You actually can control your relationship to this moment, simply by opening to what is. And, paradoxically, “opening to what is” means giving up all control. As it says in the Talmud (Berachot 33b), “Everything is in the hands of heaven except the awe of heaven…” Meaning: “Heaven” is the open space of this moment, and we cannot control what arises. Rather, everything is “in the hands of heaven”- things happen as they happen, arising out of the emptiness of this moment. And yet, “awe of heaven” is in your hands. Meaning: Respect Reality as it is. Open to it, allow this moment to be as it is. When you do, there’s an amazing discovery to be made: You are not your ego. In fact, you are not something other than the “heaven.” You are the space of this moment. You are the awareness within which everything arises. And from that realization, from that Makom of openness, you don’t have to try to invent some positive story to dump on top of your negative story. When you see story for what it is, you become free from it. You are the Space from which all stories arise, and so you are no longer caught by any stories. And from that Space that is far beyond your ego, do the only thing you can do, the thing that only you can do- let your actions and words to “go high.” Let them arise spontaneously from that Space of freedom, in this moment. May your next act be one of love, peace and blessing- amein v’amein. The world is a river; you cannot hold a river. The world is a wave, but we see it as particles. Forever the mind is building arks to float upon the churning ocean of Truth, Holding frames of changing being above the morph so as to discern a narrative- The arks- words! The tzaddik’s naming of beings saves them from dissolution in God; The tzaddik gives full attention to the being beheld, while all else drowns (for now) in the One. Two by two- one being beholds another- But when the ark is beached on the dry wasteland of things and agendas, the tzaddik cannot function! S/he must plant a vineyard in the midst of the wreckage and take refuge in the wine of ecstasy- That is, withdrawal from time into the Place where prayer erupts. To others s/he looks naked and dysfunctional- useless. “Let’s cover up this embarrassment!” People are more comfortable with the building of great towers so they can say, “Look what we have done!” Not content with the warmth (Ham) of life, they must make a name (Shem) for themselves, claiming authorship of beauty (Yafet). Have you forgotten how to let go? To behold the one who stands before you and let all else drown in the One? Don’t grasp for the spotlight, you will find everyone speaking gibberish. But relax and take a walk with God~ God will show you how to construct your words, and illuminate them from above… Click Here for more on Noakh- "The Window" “Bereisheet Bara Elohim Et Hashamayim v’Et Ha’aretz- "In the beginning, Elohim created the heavens and the earth…” What Is My Purpose? When you awaken from sleep, is it because you’ve decided to awaken? Or, do you simply wake up when your body is finished sleeping? In sleep, there’s no deciding. Once you are awake, you are faced with the question: What shall I do? What is my purpose? Waking up itself solves nothing- There was no problem to begin with. But once awake, life becomes a problem. The universe springs into being- Does creation have a purpose? But “purpose” is itself something that’s created! “Purpose” is a thought; “purpose” is a thing. There cannot be a purpose for creation until after creation. Before, there is no problem. The universe comes into being because: Why not? Sometimes, after many months, I clean my car. My wife asks, “Why did you have to clean it now all of a sudden?” But the only answer is: Why Not? Before creation, there is no problem. After, all the problems. What is the solution to all the problems? Go back to before the problems! “Hinei Tov Me’od- Behold it was very good!” That is the Shabbat- the remembering that there were no problems before we got involved; In fact, there are still no problems. The “Before” never went anywhere, because it is not a thing. It is always right here. The Shabbat, the Garden- they were Here before Anything. From within the Garden, there is no problem with moving back into problems. From within Shabbat, there is no problem with moving back into time. Seeing from within the Garden, even outside the Garden is really still inside the Garden- For where can the Garden not be? Seeing from outside the Garden, even inside the Garden is just more of the same: “How can we manage to get back in?” “Once we get in, how can we make sure that we stay there?” But- The Garden is not “there.” Thought springs into being from No-Thought; in No-Thought, there is no problem. From No-Thought, why not think? “Eitz Hada’at Tov v’Ra- The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad…” Here we are amidst the trees of the Garden- Why not take a bite of the good and the bad? Of the This and the That? Of the Before and the After? But once you leave the Timeless, the Sword of Fire blocks your way back. What is the Sword of Fire? Nothing but thought! You can't decide to awaken- You can’t think your way back into the Garden- The Garden never went anywhere. But let thought cease, and you will see for yourself: The “Purpose” is to come back to No-Purpose- To the Place from which the Universe springs: “Y’hi Or- Let there be light!” To return to No-Purpose requires living with Great Purpose- The Purpose of Being Present. From There (which is always Here) We can create something beautiful- You, Me, and Others. The world is waiting! Do you not believe me? Don’t worry- it’s Friday afternoon! Click Here for more on Bereisheet- "The Pool" Once, during the days after Yom Kippur, we suspected that there was a mouse in the house. First, the strange little pieces of refuse that would show up on the floor when we knew we had already swept. Then, the little mysterious scratchy sounds I would hear when I knew everyone else was asleep. But we knew for sure when we found that a bag of leftover hallah had been chewed through. Not knowing how the mouse got in and out, we quickly became much more disciplined about putting all our food away! We could tell the mouse was still coming in, but most of the time there was nothing for it to steal. It wasn’t until Sukkot began, however, that I actually saw it. We were eating in the sukkah, when I went back into the house to get the main course. As soon as entered the back door of our house, I saw the little mouse scurry across the floor and squeeze right through a little opening below a sliding door that goes into the wall. I took some plastic bags and pushed them into the opening to block it, then used duct tape to seal it up. A temporary measure, but the mouse seems to have not returned, leaving the sanctuary of our home free from it for now. But there is another kind of sanctuary- a space in which the heart is free and the mind is clear. That space is a sanctuary from all stress, from all problems, from all tzures. That space is the present moment. It is ever available, and always right here. And yet, the ordinary human mind is unaware of this space. Living life almost entirely through the screen of thinking, this sanctuary is overrun with the “rodents” of thought. Craving some peace, one attempts to put life in order so that the rodents won’t disturb anything too much. Unaware of where the rodents are coming from, all you can do is put the food away so as not to attract them. By “putting the food away” I mean arranging your life to your liking- organizing things so that stress and chaos are kept at bay. This is a wonderful thing. I’ll tell you, our kitchen was never so consistently clean as when that mouse forced us to develop better habits! But once you see where the mouse is coming from, you can seal up the hole at its source. Meaning- once you see that the source of all chaos and worry is your own mind, you can “close the hole” through which chaos and misery enter. Then, you can still clean your kitchen if you want to, but you’re not dependant on it. Meaning- you can organize your life to maximum benefit, but even when life is chaotic externally, even when there is loss, failure and uncertainty, the Sanctuary of the Present is not lost. Your mind can be free from those “rodents” of excess thinking, and in that clarity the Sanctuary reveals itself. And yet, this is still a big secret, even for long-time spiritual practitioners! Many people enter the Sanctuary in their moments of avodah, of meditation, ritual, chanting and so on, but cannot seem to stay connected in the midst of life. In this week’s special reading for Shabbat Sukkot, Moses seems to have this very problem. Moses- the one who speaks to Hashem face-to-face, is afraid that the Divine Presence will not accompany him on his journey of leading the people (Exodus 33:12): “Re’eh Atah omer eilai, ha’al et ha’am hazeh- "See, You say to me, ‘take this people onward’, but You did not reveal whom You will send with me!” Moses is afraid that the One who sends him on his mission will abandon him. What is Hashem’s response? “Panai yelekhu v’hanikhoti lakh- "My Presence will go and give you rest!” The Presence “goes” wherever you go! That’s because the “Presence” is not something separate from your own presence, from your awareness when it is actually present. And when your awareness is present, there is “rest”. The word here for “I will give rest”, hanikhoti, has the same root as the name Noakh, the fellow who built the ark for the great flood. Whether the metaphor is rodents or destructive floodwaters, the idea is the same- there is an ark that floats above the raging waters in which you can find refuge. In the case of Moses and the Israelites, they lived in temporary dwellings on their journeys- the sukkot in which Jews everywhere are now dwelling for this holiday that commemorates the ancient dwellings of the Israelites. The sukkah is a sanctuary, yet it is hardly a solid thing. Open to the sky, vulnerable to the elements, it is really just a frame, not secure at all. And that’s the paradox- that “sealing the hole” and securing your mind from the “rodents” of thought does not mean something hard or effortful. No plastic and duct tape! It means relaxing the mind, allowing the mind to be open to the fullness of what is already present. But still, to do this constantly takes a special kind of effort that eludes most people. So much of the language of prayer is longing for the fruit of this effort! As King David says in Psalm 27: “Akhat Sha’alti me’eit Hashem- "Only one thing I ask of You, Hashem, that I should dwell in Your house and meditate in Your sanctuary all the days of my life!” The Sanctuary of Presence is ever-present, yet it is so easy to block it. Think of this- the sun is 864,938 miles in diameter, yet you can block its view entirely with just your little hand. And yet, even while you are blocking the Presence, the blocking is itself happening in the present! The only thing blocking God, ultimately, is God- as God tells Moses a few verses later (Exodus 33:22): “It will be when My Glory passes, I shall place you in a cleft in the rock and shield you with My hand…” When our fleeting and immaterial thoughts hide the “Glory” of this passing moment, hardening the openness of the present into what feels like a narrow cleft of rock on all sides, remember: Your thoughts themselves are also part of this moment. Accept them with openness and let them pass as well. In accepting and releasing your thoughts, they can dissolve, revealing the open space once again, as Hashem says next: “Then I will remove My hand and you will see my ‘back’…” Meaning, you will see in retrospect that your thoughts blocking the Sanctuary are themselves part of the Sanctuary. They are part of the reality of the present moment. But the more simple and direct path is simply to bring your attention to literally anything physical that is already present. The more you train yourself to do this, the more you will become aware of the space behind whatever is present- the ineffable openness that is the present moment. There is a story of Reb Shneur Zalman of Liadi, that once he asked his son what he “prays with”. The boy answered that he inspires himself with the verse, “Every form shall prostrate itself before You.” The boy then asked the rebbe, “What do you pray with, Abba?” The rebbe answered, “I pray with the bench and the floor.” On this Shabbat Sukkot, may we commit our attention ever more deeply to the bench on which we sit and the floor on which we stand, that we might open ever more deeply to the Sukkat Shalom- the Space of Peace that is this moment in which we now live. Good Shabbos! Once, my son told me about a show he saw on food waste. He learned that in our country alone, every person wastes a staggering twenty pounds of food per month! And yet, with a little more consciousness and care, much of the wasted food could be put to good use. To illustrate the point, they assembled a group of folks and served them a gourmet salad. They asked the group to rate the salad, and everyone loved it. Then, they revealed the truth: the salad was made entirely out of food waste! A gourmet chef was given food that is normally considered waste- peelings, stems, stalks and other items that are usually discarded. The food scraps were cut, peeled, marinated, pounded and transformed into something the group perceived to be not only edible, but a unique and delicious gourmet dish. It’s a good thing that the human mind can differentiate between food and garbage, between “wheat and chaff”, between nourishment and poison. But the shadow side to this dualistic thinking is that we tend to develop a rigid narrative about what is good and usable, and what needs to be thrown away. Or, sometimes the opposite happens- Out of fear that something valuable might be lost, some people become hoarders, surrounding themselves with far more junk than they could ever use. But what if the human mind could be flexible enough to fully use whatever is present? Not hoard for another day, and not look at a fridge partially filled with odds and ends and decide, “there’s nothing to eat!” One time, I was away with my son and my wife Lisa was home alone for a few days with our daughter. Lisa thought, “I wonder if I can avoid going shopping and just live off whatever is in the house?” Guess what- she did! No shopping that week. They were fine. When the mind is full of rigid preconceptions, it’s impossible to see the full potential of what is present. But get some space around your thoughts (like send the boys to Arizona!), connect with what is really here in this moment, and new possibilities open up. There are little miracles waiting to happen. But to open up this space and become present, you need to bring together the two opposite poles of your being- consciousness and flesh. Ordinarily, human consciousness tends to congeal into a constant stream of thinking, taking the thinker into all kinds of imagined realities, while the body is left to deal with the here and now. The eyes are looking in the fridge, but the mind is thinking about something else! This week’s reading begins with Moses’ words to the Israelites: “Ha’azinu hashamyaim va’adabeirah- Give ear, O Heavens, and I shall speak- “V’tishma Ha’aretz imrei fi- And listen, O Earth, to the words of my mouth.” The “Heavens” and the “Earth” are metaphors for these opposite polls of our being. When mind is extricated from the relentless narratives of thought and brought into intimate connection with the body, then the mind and body can “listen” together as one. When that happens, the “secrets” that are hidden in plain sight can be revealed. These “secrets” are ever-present, as it goes on to say- “Let my teaching fall like rain, let my utterance flow like dew, like storm winds on vegetation, like raindrops on blades of grass…” Torah is everywhere, soaking everything like rain, blowing through everything as the air we breathe. But to see it, to hear it, you have to open to it. Opening means: there must be an opening in your thoughts, so that your awareness and your body can fully join together. When that happens, there is no more sense of “me” as the thinker and “my body” that “I” inhabit. That separate “I” drops away. There is a hint of this in the concluding verses of the parshah: “Aley el har… ur’eh et eretz… umoot b’har… Ascend the mountain… see the land… and die on the mountain…” “Ascend the mountain” means to rise above your thinking mind. “See the land” means to really see what is right here before you, now. “Die on the mountain” means that when you rise above your mind and yet connect fully with your body, your ordinary thought-bound self can drop away. This is the deepest freedom- freedom from the sense of “me” as a separate entity that is living in “my” body. And when there is no more separate "me", what is left? This can’t really be described, because language itself is rooted in thought, which is the basis for separateness. But there is a hint in this parshah: “He is suckled with honey from a stone, and oil from the hardness of a rock…” In other words, what seemed to be dead is bursting with life. Everything is miraculous, everything is nourishing. Rabbi Moshe Hayim Efraim, the grandson of the Baal Shem Tov, told a story in the name of his grandfather: “Once there was a fiddler who played so sweetly that no one who heard the music could resist dancing. One time, a man walked by a house where the fiddler played and he saw people dancing through the window. He couldn’t hear the music they heard, and so he thought they were madmen, flailing their bodies about tastelessly.” As we approach the joyful and celebratory days of Sukkot, may we hear the music of Existence that plays all around us and within us. May we be like the sukkah- an open form, a beautiful frame, without much differentiation between “inside” and “outside”. And as we leave behind the day of fasting, may we take care to fully use and share what we have, nourishing each other and minimizing our food waste. If you haven’t already, make the fast of Yom Kippur real by donating to your local food bank or other relief organization. Take a moment and give tzeddaka now! Moadim L’Simkha! Good times! love, -brian yosef Once, my wife and mother-in-law were giving a bath to our three-year-old daughter. A few minutes after she got in the water, she looked up and said, “Um, could you guys please put some toys in here so I don’t have to play with my feet?” The mind loves things to play with. As children we call those play objects toys. As adults, we have different names for them, but they are essentially the same. They are stimulation. They are external content that we become fascinated with. We don’t want to just “play with our feet,” or even worse, have nothing to play with at all. What could be worse for a child than to have to sit still, be quiet and do nothing? The mind craves and needs stimulation. For children, this stimulation is essential for the healthy growth of their brains, and so stimulation must be almost constant. But at some point, that changes. At some point, you might notice: all the stimulation, all the thinking, all the experiencing, wonderful and essential as they are, can be like the flaming sword of the keruvim, guarding the entrance to Gan Eden- the entrance to paradise. At some moment, and maybe that moment is now, you notice: There is an inner depth so vast, so beautiful, so alive, if you would only put down your toys and open to it. That vastness is your own inner Divinity- Eloheikhem- it is awareness meeting the truth of the present moment- Eloheikhem Emet. But many people never discover this, and remain identified and entangled in the noise of mental toys, in the mind’s perpetual narratives. This creates an experience of separateness, of craving for the wholeness that is actually there all along, beneath the mind. That craving can lead to great inner disturbance, and ultimately, all of the horrors that still plague humanity. What is the remedy? In the Talmud, Rabbi Levi Bar Chama says in the name of Rabbi Shimon Ben Lakish that when you feel yourself gripped by unwholesome motives, you should study some Torah (Berakhot 5a). In other words, study some spiritual teaching that puts you in touch with your inner Divinity, just like you are doing right now. For the aim of spiritual teaching is not just to convey information, it’s to awaken your higher potential. But, if that doesn’t work, he says to chant this verse: “Sh’ma Yisrael Hashem Eloheinu, Hashem Ekhad- "Listen Israel, Existence Itself is your own inner Divinity; there is only One Existence.” In other words, stop and become aware that God is not something “out there” or separate. All you need do is “listen” because this moment is nothing but God, if your thinking mind would relax. And if that doesn’t work, there’s one more trick: Think of your own death. The irony of children is that, on one hand, they are such bright little explosions of life, free and unencumbered by the heaviness that so many adults carry around with them. And, at the same time, they are so utterly obsessed with things that are really trivial, as anyone knows who has had to negotiate “sharing toys” with three-year-olds. But as adults, despite the years of psychic crust we accumulate in our nervous system, there is this tremendous opportunity for depth when we let go of everything. That is the contemplation of death. We will all die, but we can die before we die, surrendering into the reality of this moment, letting go of the story of “me”. This week’s reading begins shortly before Moses’ death: “Vayelekh Moshe- "Moses went and spoke these words... ‘Hayom lo ukhal…’- ‘today it is no longer possible for me to go out and come in…’” When you live on the surface, in the mind’s narratives, there is this sense of “me” going here and there, doing this and that. But in hayom- in the “today”- there is no longer a “me” coming and going. In the present, you live from your depths that are far beyond your personal story. This is the death before you die. It is said that a heavenly voice told the Baal Shem Tov he would be denied life in the World to Come for some small sin he committed. When he heard this news, he jumped for joy and danced. “Why are you so happy?” said the heavenly voice. “Because now I can serve God for its own sake, without ulterior motive.” In these days of teshuvah, leading to Yom Kippur- The Day of At-One-ment, may our commitment to live from our depths become ever more deep, and may that depth be revealed in our thoughts, words and actions. May we speedily see a day when all of humanity lives and loves from its true depth and potential! Good Shabbos, and g’mar hatimah tovah- May you be inscribed for all good things! -b yosef What happens when you can't stand something? Ordinarily, there is a sense of "me" and the thing or person you "can't stand." Reality is split in two, and there is tension, contraction, stress. How do you rise above this tension? The Parshah begins: "Atem nitzavim hayom kulkhem... "You all stand together today... from your hewer of wood to your carrier of water... to pass into the covenant...״ What is a covenant? A covenant is a special, intentional connection between two beings- a coming together of two, rather than a separation and tension. How do you connect with the Divine? Nitzavim Hayom- Stand today- meaning, take your stand in this moment. When you "stand" your head is raised up- meaning, you can see all that is below- your body, your feelings, your thoughts. Use your head to be aware of yourself in this moment, rather than spinning off into judgments, fantasies, and opinions about what you can't stand! Instead, take your stand in this moment. From your hewer of wood to your carrier of water- It doesn't matter what your identity is, what roles you play, what your opinions are. On the level of awareness, we are all the same transcendent presence. Then it says: "L'ma'an hakim ot'kha hayom- "In order to establish you today..." That is, establish yourself in the present moment! Make Presence a way of living, not merely a technique or occasional practice. When your presence burns brightly like the sun, far above your opinions and yet intimately aware of them, then the One Being looks through your eyes, seeing Itself everywhere. Then there is no longer "you" connecting with "God," but there is simply Being, shining forth from everything. From that state, the love and wisdom to make peace and "stand with others" becomes available... Click Here for more on Nitzavim and a funny dance called "Watch me Nae Nae"... |
Archives
July 2024
|