What Does G-d want me to do?Shalom friends! I have uploaded an audio recording of Monday night's talk. You can click on the above title to access. If you don't have the password, please sign up for my mailing list and I will send to you.
Enjoy!
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Once a person heard rumor of a wonderful spring that existed in some far off country that could heal the achy longing of the heart. So this person set off in search of the spring. The person had many adventures and endured many hardships. Finally the person arrived at the sacred spot and drank from the healing waters. The rumors were true- the spring was truly magical and satisfied as nothing else could. The person bottled as much as possible, brought it home and enjoyed it for some time. Eventually it became necessary to travel back to get more. Others heard about the wonderful spring, and so after some time, more and more people made the long and dangerous pilgrimage to the sacred site. A wise person saw all the people making the journey and benefiting from the life-giving waters. “It’s so wonderful that you have discovered the true waters of life!” said the wise person. “But what if I told you that you didn’t have to go anywhere? What if I told you that the waters are right here as well?”
The people were puzzled. “We don’t see any spring of water,” they said. “It’s true,” said the wise person, “there is no spring here. But that’s just because there is no opening here in the earth for the water to come through. If you dig, you will find the same water, right here.” But the people did not believe him. How could the healing water possibly exist where they lived all along? So they continued to journey, and they developed a whole complex system for obtaining, importing and selling the magic water. So- would you rather journey, or dig? Or neither? There are moments when our situation dictates our next move, and there is no ambiguity about what we must do. If there were a baby in the middle of the road, for example, it is clear we should rescue the baby. In such a moment, there is no leeway for weighing options, for considering which path to take. The path is clear, and the mind is wholly present in the task at hand. We might call this active presence- being totally present and committed in one’s action.
There is also a situation we might call passive presence, or receiving presence. This could be when you receive something or behold something so satisfying that there is no part of you that is left out of the experience; there is a sense of arrival. The present is not experienced as a stepping-stone to some other moment, but the present is IT. An example of this might be beholding something awesome in nature, or even drinking a glass of water when you are parched. Ordinarily, these moments tend to be few. The aim of spiritual work, however, is to totally reorient yourself to become fully present in every moment, to connect deeply with reality as it presents itself now, always now, in this moment. To do this, we have to shift our perspective from mind and thought to the awareness behind mind and thought. Just as both the baby in the road and the satisfying experience automatically bring one to the fullness of the present beyond thought, so we must learn to bring ourselves fully to the present, even and especially in ordinary and mundane moments. This is the hidden message in this week’s parsha, Tzav. Throughout the Torah, when G-d tells Moses to communicate something to the Israelites, it usually says, “G-d spoke to Moses saying, ‘speak to the Israelites…’”. In this case, rather than saying, “speak to the Israelites”, it says “command the Israelites”. That’s the meaning of the word Tzav- it is the command form of the word “command”. By saying, “command” rather than “speak”, it implies a sense of intensity, and calls the one commanded to a state of presence. To receive a “commandment” is different from receiving a “suggestion” or a “possibility”; the baby is in the road, and you must act. However, the Torah then goes on to enumerate tedious details about certain ritual sacrifices. The subject matter is not even new; it is merely a continuation of last week’s parsha, which introduced the subject (see last week’s blog entry). Why is the special word tzav used in this context? But this is the whole point. Much of our lives are spent with ordinary, repetitive things- the daily grind of keeping things moving. The ritual sacrifices are a metaphor for how to frame the ordinary: By bringing our awareness fully into each moment, the “ordinary” is transformed into something sacred. The word for sacrifice, korban, actually doesn’t mean sacrifice at all; it means “drawing near”. The “daily grind” becomes a way of drawing near to the Ultimate, for everything is part of the Ultimate. Once the mind ceases pulling us away from this moment, we can see this moment as an opportunity to awaken, to be a vessel for consciousness. This is also the meaning of the instructions to “keep the fire on the altar burning all night” (Lev. 6:2). The “day” represents those special experiences and deeds that bring us to the sacred and the fullness of presence. The “night” represents the ordinary and mundane, when we tend to fall asleep in the spiritual sense. To “keep the fire burning” in the “night” means to transform the ordinary into a korban- into a sacred moment through the power of awareness. This lesson is a powerful reminder as we move into the preparation time for Pesakh (Passover). Preparing for Pesakh has a very mundane, detail-oriented aspect to it, involving going through your fridge and cabinets to find all the hameitz (foods made with wheat, oats, barley or spelt, except of course matzah) to either eliminate it or sell it. (Click here for info on traditional Pesakh preparations- and don't let it freak you out! Even a little effort at whatever level you are comfortable can be very powerful). Often, this will reveal hidden dirtiness and inspire a deep cleaning of the house. The hameitz is a symbol for ego and separation from the present. The matzah, in its flatness and simplicity, represents full intimacy with the present and freedom from ego. So what is the lesson? The ego craves something special. It wants to be impressed, and to impress. But preparing for Pesakh is an opportunity to embrace the mundane, to discover the sacred in the cleaning of kitchen muck. In surrendering to these mundane tasks and doing them not as drudgery but as “commandment”, as mitzvah, we open ourselves to receive the true and liberating power of Pesakh. When you eat the matzah this Pesakh, may you taste the joy, sweetness and purity of real liberation, and may your liberation bring this world a step closer to a global awakening and healing. Hag Samayakh! Good Shaabbiiiisss! This week begins the first parsha of the book of Leviticus, Vayikra- “He called”. It gives instructions about five different kinds of sacrifices which the Israelites were to offer. These five sacrifices can be seen as a paradigm of life, each one a symbol for a particular way of approaching this moment.
The first is the Olah, or “Elevation” offering. This offering was unique in that it was burned completely on the altar, with nothing left over. This hints at giving ourselves entirely to the task of this moment. We tend to see this moment as a mere stepping-stone to another moment, and we are often doing one thing while our minds are somewhere else. The Olah hints that if we wish to live in an “elevated” way- that is, free from mundane stresses and worries, we paradoxically need to completely bring ourselves to the mundane. We need to “burn ourselves” completely in this moment, without leaving over part of our minds to dwell on something else. The second is the Minkha, or “gift” offering. This was a grain offering, brought by those who were not wealthy enough to bring animal offerings. This hints at the wisdom of humility and the willingness to offer of ourselves what we can, even if we think it is inadequate, or that the work required is “below” us. It is the willingness to serve the needs of this moment, without imposing our own preconceptions. The third is the Shlamim, or “Peace” offering. This offering was brought out of gratitude and praise. It brought peace partially because the priests and the offerer both enjoyed it as food, and partially because it was supposed to have a peaceful effect on the world in general. This hints at dedicating our actions toward universal benefit for all. When we act, we do so because we have some particular motivation. If we take a moment to dedicate our actions to universal benefit, this will give our actions and even our decision-making process a special quality of openness and generosity. The fourth and fifth are the Hatat and the Asham- the “Sin” offering and the “Guilt” offering. Their purpose was to correct and make healing for wrongs committed. It is good to remember that we have not always been perfect. Whenever we do anything, we are not acting from a clean slate, but rather we act against a hidden karmic background. Keeping this in mind will allow us to approach this moment with humility and the intention for healing whatever negativity lingers from the past. It will also help us accept what happens to us moment by moment, cleansing us from the arrogance of resisting things we don’t like- “How could this happen to me?” Instead, let us accept what is, and offer ourselves to this moment as a force of healing. May these five offerings manifest themselves in our lives toward greater awakening to the spiritual potential of this moment, always. Good Shaaabbiiiiss! "Lekh L'kha- Go, for yourself, from your land, from your relatives and from your father's house, to the land I will show you..." So says Hashem to Avram at the beginning of this week's parsha.
These three things- land, family and home- are security of the known; they are extensions of self, indicated by "Your land" and "your relatives". "The land I will show you"- this is the unknown, the future. We cling to the known and resist the uncertainty of the future, though we know it is coming. But it is possible to dive fully into the unknown now, to release the burden of all our preconceptions we carry in this moment. In this letting go, we can see that this moment is in fact "the land I will show you"- it is not "ours"- we cannot grasp it- but we can behold it. And yet, when you release resistance and fear and enter this moment fully, then you are truly at home; you are not living in your idea of the present, you are living in the real present. Then you can feel the mystery of the future in the present, and the unburdened heart can bubble with possibility! We often use our minds to entertain ourselves. We think of interesting ideas, or contemplate other people's lives, imagine exciting things we are going to do- the list is endless. But few have tried not thinking. When the mind becomes still, yet totally aware, you will notice- even the most drab urban landscape vibrates with life and mystery. When the mind stops looking toward thought for entertainment and stimulation, you can begin to notice- the world around you is far more interesting than anything thought can manufacture! It vibrates with Hei HaOlamim- The Life of Worlds! This is not the mind's idea of G-d, this is the Real Thing- beholding the Presence. So try letting go of the imaginary world and instead opening to whatever comes- you may be surprised!
Belief is clutter, because it is unnecessary. Some think that you need to believe in something good in order to have hope, to not be pessimistic. But pessimism is also belief; you don't really know how things are going to turn out. If you say, "i believe it will all turn out for the good", you are trying to have something you can't have; you can't know how it will turn out. And if you say, "it will turn out for the bad", you are still trying to have something you can't have. Why not have what you can have?
Why use mental energy trying to have what you can't have? There is so much available in this moment, but in order to receive it, you have to be aware of it. So use your precious vital energy on connecting with this moment, on being aware of what is really here. You will find that having what you can have is much better than trying to have what you can't! Joy is the emotional shape of Truth.
“Truth” is not something that happens in thought. No matter how “true” a thought is, it is still a representation of truth, not Truth Itself. Real Truth is what really is, not what we represent in our minds. Real Truth, then, is always what is actually happening in the present. The beholding of Truth is openness, and the reflection of that openness in the body is joy. Even if what is happening in the moment is misery, openness to the misery makes a space within which joy can once again sprout. Thinking about miserable things will perpetuate the misery; but openness to the misery dissolves it. So do not make joy the goal; be open. Joy comes by itself. Meditation and prayer are not the same thing, but they are very closely related, kind of like tasting and swallowing. It is possible to just taste and not swallow, but it is rare. Occasionally you might swallow something without tasting, like swallowing a pill, but it is not the norm. Ordinarily, the two are part of one process, and often experienced as one event.
Meditation is the art of being; prayer is the art of relating to Being. In meditation, you cease having a particular point of view, and instead you have more of a space of view. You discover your awareness as the space within which experience is happening. That space has no preference, though preference might exist within the space as part of experience. I said experience, not your experience, because in that space there is no claim of “me” or “mine”; there is just whatever is happening. Prayer, on the other hand, happens on the level of heart. Within the space of consciousness, a door is opened through which flows a special inner fire. This fire might be described as love, adoration, devotion or reverence. It may take the form of words or actions, or it may simply glow in silence. Like physical fire, this inner fire has the power to burn and transform one’s whole inner world, remaking one’s self in its fiery image. If there were a god who created the universe- even one who wields absolute power over it- that god would only be a part of Reality. The universe together with that god- that would be Reality, that would be the Whole, and so that totality would be the True G-d. And if there were no god, Reality (Whatever That Is) would still be the Whole; Reality would still be the True G-d.
How do you relate to Reality? Do you complain about it, criticize it, try to escape it, lust after things in it, avoid it? Or, in trembling awe and gratitude for the infinitely unlikely fact of your own existence, do you humbly receive Its blessings and challenges? From this place of receiving, the present moment is Sinai, and every happening is G-d’s revelation. |
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